


Neck

by Anra7777



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Dark, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Re:Mind Spoiler FREE, Supernatural Elements, Water Spirit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-01-30 10:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21426385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anra7777/pseuds/Anra7777
Summary: Xigbar found a lot more than he bargained for when he went Heartless hunting by a lake.
Relationships: ?/Xigbar, Demyx's Somebody/Xigbar, Demyx/Xigbar (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was loosely inspired by this video: https://youtu.be/E52rxz2sjRs. Rather than saying my story is based off it, it’s more like it sparked the idea for it.
> 
> Rather than referring to the body part, the title of this story is referring to a type of water spirit. You can read more about them here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neck_(water_spirit) and https://books.google.com/books?id=TTMMAAAAIAAJ&pg=PA78&source=gbs_toc_r&cad=4#v=onepage&q&f=false. I find the last description of the Neck on the second link very, hmmm, Demyx-ish: “[A]nd occasionally as a handsome youth with yellow locks flowing over his shoulders and a red cap sitting in a summer evening on the surface of the water with a golden harp in his hand.”
> 
> Note: I try to stick to the descriptions of Necks, but I may stray into the behaviors of other closely related water spirits.

Neck

  
  


Xigbar used one of his arrow-guns to push aside a thorny bush, his eye hunting around for the elusive Heartless. 

He’d wiped out most of the Heartless in the rural peasant village he’d been sent to, but one had escaped by running into the forest the locals refused to enter, claiming it was haunted. 

He’d promised himself that if he couldn’t find it within an hour, he’d give up and return to the castle. Xemnas would never know he missed one. 

Thus he found himself in the middle of the woods, hopelessly lost, with it growing late and still no Heartless for his efforts. 

As he went past the offending bush, still managing to snag his coat on some of the thorns, he heard the faintest strain of melody.

Well, that was great. He’d managed to turn himself around and arrived back in town. 

Figuring he might as well see if the village had any decent food before he left, he followed the music, not to the town, but to a small lake. 

In the fading light, he could see a young man, dressed in elegant clothes and a red cap, sitting on top of the water, playing some sort of stringed instrument. 

Xigbar felt a pull from the music as it swirled around him, almost forgetting his mission entirely. It yanked at emotions he hadn’t felt since before the War, trying to tug them into the forefront of his consciousness, but he stubbornly pushed the proto-feelings away.

The Heartless he’d been looking for was there too, seemingly equally mesmerized, watching the young man from the edge of the water, but making no move to attack. 

“That’s a funny trick.” Xigbar called to the golden haired man, using his gravity powers to step onto the water and approach.

The youth startled and stopped playing.

Xigbar turned and shot at the Heartless before it could even think of casting off the spell of the music and escaping.

As the Heartless disappeared, the young man blinked at Xigbar in surprise and stupor. 

“What brings you here, cousin?” He shook himself awake and asked.

“Cousin?” Xigbar questioned.

“Are you not a Neck like me? Since you walk upon the water like us.” The younger man’s eyes showed innocent curiosity. 

“No, I’m a Nobody.” Xigbar corrected.

“Surely you’re somebody?” The young man was confused.

“I mean, I’m a person without a Heart.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“Why didn’t that Heartless attack you?” Xigbar changed the subject abruptly. 

“Hmm?”

“The creature I killed just now. Why didn’t it go after your Heart?” 

“I don’t know.” The still sitting man shrugged. “I’ve seen them before, but they’ve never bothered me.” 

“It can’t be because you’re not human. They still go after things that aren’t human.” Xigbar muttered to himself.

“Did you know?” The Neck started the conversation topic idly, clearly bored with Xigbar’s incomprehensible words. “They say that the Neck have no souls? I don’t believe it—of course we have souls!—but when my brothers hear it, they tend to get rather weepy over the whole thing.” He waved a hand dismissively at his absent siblings. “It’s caused the human beings to taunt us and say we’ll never have salvation.” 

“No souls?” Xigbar raised an eyebrow. “Then how are you living?”

“I know, right?” The blond nodded enthusiastically, finally finding someone who believed him, his language suddenly turning more casual. “Everything living must have a soul, right? Although I suppose the same could be said about hearts too.” He looked at Xigbar challengingly. 

“...Maybe we’re talking about the same thing... What’s your name, anyway?” Xigbar squinted at the other.

“Myde!” 

“And are you always here?” 

“Well, duh. This is my lake.” 

“Hey, I don’t know anything about… Necks, was it? Allow me to be ignorant!” 

“You don’t…? Normally nobody comes here because they’re all afraid of me.” 

“Afraid of _ you? _ As if! But then, I _ am _ a Nobody.”

“I have the feeling that word doesn’t mean the same thing to me as it does to you.” 

“Probably.” 

Xigbar finally sat down, making sure the water didn’t actually touch him and get him wet. 

“You going to continue playing?’

“If you want me to teach you, there’s stuff you’re supposed to do first.”

“Nah, I don’t need to learn. Just thought it might be nice to listen.”

“Hmm, okay.” Myde strummed his instrument.

And Xigbar allowed himself to relax for the first time in ages.

***

“You’re late, Number II.” Xigbar has barely stept out of the portal when Saïx’s accusatory words flew at him. The blue haired man stood beside the portal, clipboard in hand, eyes furious. 

“...A Heartless got away. I had trouble tracking it down.” 

“I see.” Saïx’s tone would have been sarcastic, if it weren’t for how bitingly cold it was.

“Yup, so I’m just gonna hit my bed now. It’s been a long day.”

He walked away with a wave, feeling Saïx’s eyes follow him until he was out of sight. Rather than head to his room, he ambled over to Xemnas’s office, banking on the long hours the Superior usually led.

He entered after receiving permission from his knock and strode over, collapsing irreverently into the chair across from the leader of the Nobodies. 

“What do you want, Xigbar?” Xemnas asked quietly over the paperwork he was holding.

“Why I gotta want anything? Can’t I just see you for the fun of it?” 

Xemnas shot him an unimpressed look. Xigbar shrugged slightly and straightened up a little.

“Look, Xemnas—Boss Man—,” he corrected at Xemnas’s raised eyebrow and slight frown. “Are we still looking for Nobodies to fill our ranks?” Xemnas had mentioned from the start that he wanted more members, but none had been found so far. Not that they were looking that hard, either. 

“You found someone?” Xemnas intuited the reason behind Xigbar’s question.

“Maybe. Hard to tell for sure. But I’d like permission to find out, and if I’m right, convince him to join the cause. Problem is, I don’t know how long it’ll take.” 

“Permission granted,” Xemnas nodded. 

“Welp, I’m exhausted. I’m off to bed now.” He levered himself out of the chair and set off, not paying attention to whether Xemnas was done talking with him or not. Xemnas just sighed helplessly before returning to his paperwork. There was no taming Xigbar.

***

The next day, Xigbar arrived at the lake around mid-morning, having allowed himself to sleep in and have a leisurely breakfast. Not seeing Myde anywhere, although that could have been because of the fog that surrounded the area, he called out over the lake, “Myde?”

But there was no answer. He remained still, listening as hard as he could until a horse’s snort by his ear made him jump. 

“Woah! Where’d you come from?” Next to Xigbar, having come out of nowhere, was a pure white, handsome wild horse. Said horse whinnied, as though laughing at him, and butted him in the chest before prancing away.

It didn’t go far, staying within sight of the lake, but eating the vegetation here and there as something caught its fancy. 

Xigbar didn’t know much about horses, but he didn’t recall ever hearing of them being so flighty. This horse barely ate at one spot before abandoning it for another that apparently looked tastier. He could swear he could almost hear it humming brainlessly as it flitted about. 

Deciding to ignore his equine companion, he called out across the lake once more: “Myde!”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the horse jerk its head, and move toward him. He watched warily as the horse circled around him once, playfully butting against him here and there, before prancing away again.

He felt his mouth drop. 

“Myde?” he asked the horse.

With a twinkle in its eye, the horse tossed its mane… and butted him in the butt. 

“Hey!” he protested. 

Myde whinnied a snicker at him and bobbed his head. 

“How’d you become a horse?” Xigbar asked weakly. Myde only snorted at him. 

“Is it permanent?” Myde shook his head, indicating “no.” 

“Can you change back?” Again, “no.”

“That’s going to make talking to you difficult.” Myde rolled his shoulders in an approximation of a shrug. The movement was disturbingly unhorselike. 

“Should I wait? Should I come back later?” Again, the shrug.

The sun, which had remained hidden behind the clouds up to that point, chose that moment to shine, starting its mission to disperse the fog around the lake. Myde started to fade before Xigabr’s eye, slowly turning transparent before changing into fast moving ribbons of white light which surged upward before disappearing with a final flash. 

Xigbar shivered in shock as Myde disappeared completely from before him. Had Myde just died right in front of him? Could he have done something to stop it? Or was he overthinking things and Myde was perfectly fine? 

Unsure whether he’d failed his new, self-imposed mission so soon or not, he decided to pull up his hood, float in the air, and take a nap for now. (There was no way he was lying in the grass. For one thing, it was still soaked from the fog. For another, who knows whether horse!Myde had left any “presents.”) If Myde didn’t show up by sunset, he’d leave and return in the morning to question the locals.

He woke up in the late afternoon, starving and grateful for having had the foresight to pack some food. After eating, he trudged around the lake, seeing if he could find any more Heartless. A few hours later, bored out of his skull and barely restraining himself from shooting at anything that moved (who knew how Myde would take him shooting the wildlife around his lake? If he wasn’t dead...) and Xigbar was tempted just to leave. 

He went back to the original spot he’d portaled to, and decided to take one more nap, even if it meant he’d be up all night. Levitating as before, he used the calming techniques he’d learned over the centuries to quickly bring himself to a light snooze. 


	2. Chapter 2

Neck

The first thing Xigbar was aware of was his hair falling out of his ponytail. It had gotten just long enough that he’d started tying it back to keep it out of the way, but was still short enough that hair constantly fell out, putting him through the hassle of needing to redo the tie more times than he cared to count. Really, if he had more free time, he’d go find someone to cut it for him. He was under no illusion that he could do a decent job by himself, and didn’t want to risk pissing Xemnas off with choppily cut hair. Strangely styled hair was fine. Asymmetrical hair was fine. But somehow Xemnas, as apprentice Xehanort before him, had the strangest revulsion to _ badly cut _ hair. It defied explanation. Axel had tried once to burn his own hair off in a misguided attempt to trim it, and everyone secretly swore to themselves not to repeat his mistake after seeing their Superior’s reaction. 

So Xigbar had become used to the irritating sensation of his hair loosening from its clasp. Sleepily, he let one hand start to reach back to fix it, only to pause, as he felt fingers card through his hair. The hair hadn’t fallen out on its own, but the tie itself had been gently tugged from his head. 

The fingers brushed his hair, sometimes accidentally pulling painfully when they hit a snag, but otherwise feeling rather pleasant. He relaxed into the sensation, knowing that he should have been attacking whoever or whatever had snuck up on him, that being on guard was the smart decision, but the under-the-breath humming of what sounded like a lullaby coming from the other person seized his mind and forced it to ignore the danger. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d allowed someone else to brush his hair for him. As his eyes searched his memory from behind his closed eyelids, he remembered his mother. A quiet woman, who’d raised him single-handedly and who’d sent him to the Master’s tower trying to hide her twisted expression of worry and grief behind a wobbly smile, despite the huge honor his being made apprentice was to the family. She used to brush his hair and hum just like this. But back then he’d always been eager for it to be over with, impatient to head out into the world and away from what had felt like a smothering love. He hadn’t thought about her in so long. He couldn’t even remember her name. Or her face. Only her humming and her love stayed in his heart. But he didn’t have a heart, so where did her memory go? 

He twitched, trying to fight the tears and the melancholy that threatened to take hold of him. Apparently this was enough signal that he was awake, as the humming stopped and a voice spoke in his ear, breaking his train of feeling: “I like your hair.” 

“Thanks?” He responded hoarsely and dryily. 

“It’s so silky. How do you get it like that?” The voice continued to chat with him brightly.

“Shampoo…?” He hazarded. 

“What’s shampoo?” 

“A substance for cleaning your hair.” He mumbled to the voice, cracking his eye open to see who was the ridiculous person who didn’t know what shampoo was.

Myde’s too close, handsome face met his gaze, and he quickly shut his eye again, wondering why on Never Was Myde thought it was okay to be within kissing distance. 

“Oh.” The exclamation sounded as though Myde was pretending he knew what Xigbar was talking about, but secretly had no clue.

“How do you wash your hair?” 

“I don’t…? The Neck are always clean.” 

“So… you’ve never had a hot shower or a bath?” 

“What’re those?” Inexplicably, Xigbar felt pity for Myde. Not that the nearby village looked as though it had the technology to pull off a shower, but still. But maybe Myde wouldn’t feel the same way about bathing as most mere mortals. 

“Well,” he drawled and risked opening his eye again. Yup, Myde was still too close. He forced himself to bare it, and continued: “If you come with me, you could find out?” 

Myde laughed and drew back, skating a twirl upon the surface of the water as he did so. Despite the growing darkness around them, the lake glowed a warm, natural white with the magic of the fae, leaving Myde perfectly visible as though it were still day.

“And why should I come with you?” Xigbar’s eye was drawn inexorably to the figure that was expressing such joy through dancing on the water.

“Because you might be a Nobody, and we need more members in our ranks.” 

Myde pulled a face and skated back to Xigbar. 

“I know of only one reason a Neck would be willing to leave his home, and that isn’t it.” 

“What reason is that?”

“Can’t tell. Telling you would skew the chances of your fulfilling the condition,” he slyly taunted.

“I’m just supposed to guess randomly?” Xigbar asked exasperatedly as he sat up.

“Nah, it’s not a matter of guessing.”

“Can I get a hint?” 

Myde gave him a peculiar look.

“If it’s true you don’t have a heart, it should be impossible to fulfill.” 

“What does _ that _ mean?” 

Myde put a finger to his lips. 

“Not telling.” 

With another laugh, he skated away, back toward the middle of the lake. Xigbar let himself float down to the ground, nearly getting his boots soaked by the lake’s edge before he remembered to levitate at the last second. 

He followed after the blond, lips unconsciously lifting in a wry smile at his companion’s innocent happiness zooming around the lake. 

“So, what was with you being a horse this morning? And why’d you disappear?” He asked what had been bothering him all day. 

“Oh, that? The Neck are normally visible to non-fae only during the evenings and at night. But on foggy days we become ‘Brook horses!’ Did you notice,” Myde asked proudly. “My hooves were on the right way round?”

“No, can’t say I did.” Xigbar admitted.

“Oh,” this time, Myde’s exclamation was filled with disappointment as he visibly deflated and stopped skating and prodded at the water with one brown boot. 

Deciding to humor him, Xigbar dutifully asked, “Why is it so amazing your feet are right?”

Myde puffed up again with pride. “Not all Necks can do it, you know? My transformation abilities are better than many of my brothers, and a sign of it is getting the hooves right!” 

“Very impressive.” Xigbar smiled indulgently. 

Myde beamed at him, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Yup, I’m impressive!” He made a sign and pose that Xigbar could only guess was this world’s version of a victory pose. “Praise me!”

Xigbar raised an eyebrow at the light hearted demand.

“Praise, praise.” He said flatly. 

Myde laughed at him. Again.

“You’re different from most people.” 

“Can’t argue with that,” Xigbar shrugged.

“Is it because you’re a ‘Nobody?’” 

“Nah, it’s probably because of how old I am.” The truth slipped out of him without him even having the time to try to hold it back. 

“Bet I’m older than you!”

“Doubt it.”

“No, really. I’m as old as the lake. And that makes me… ah.”

“What is it?”

“I have no idea how the humans tell time. Time is meaningless to a Neck, you know? We know it exists, but we never bother to count it.” 

“Guess we’ll never know.” Xigbar shrugged, hiding a chuckle behind a hand.

“You’re laughing at me.” Myde accused.

“Am I?”

“You are!” 

“You gonna do anything about it?” Xigbar remained nonchalant, even as he secretly flexed a hand, ready to summon an arrow-gun if the fae took offense.

Myde pouted at him.

“If it had been most of my brothers, they would have drowned you by now.” 

“You gonna drown me?”

“No.” Myde sulked. Xigbar relaxed his hand. 

“Not that I’m not grateful, but why not?” 

Myde visibly hesitated in his answer.

“...It’s been a long time since I had someone to talk to.”

Xigbar waved a hand.

“What about these brothers you keep going on about?”

“Well… we don’t exactly talk. Not the way you’d understand it. It’s more… being aware of each other’s existence?” 

“So, you’re lonely?”

“I’m not lonely!” Myde loudly protested.

“Okay, okay. You’re not lonely. You know, if you came with me, you’d have more people to talk to?” Xigbar coaxed. 

“It doesn’t work like that!” 

“Yeah, yeah. When do you think I’ll fulfill that condition of yours?” 

Myde raised his shoulders sharply before dropping them in a lazy shrug. 

“It depends on the person. Normally, most human beings, they’re able to fulfill the condition nearly right away. But, that’s a false fulfillment born from the music. You’re different.” He shrugged again. “Even when a Neck leaves, they always return home, because the human undoes the condition. Somehow, I think if you fulfill it, you’ll really fulfill it.” Myde stared at Xigbar, looking pleased, and slightly blushed. 

“I don’t even know what your condition _ is. _ How are you sure I can fulfill it?” 

“I’m not. But is it such a bad thing for me to root for you?” 

“No. I guess not.”

“While you figure it out, might as well tell me about yourself and explain properly what a Nobody is.” 

So he did. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that this is my second story with Demyx in hats, I increasingly want to see him in one. Too bad I can’t really find any fan art of him in one. (May have been wanting to see mafia-esque Demyx, and trying to search for him in a fedora.) 
> 
> I made up Myde’s clothes. The Neck, when they wear clothes, wear elegant clothes, but it’s hard to tell from what time period, or what those clothes consist of. So it’s probably horribly inaccurate. 
> 
> Let’s bring the rating up to T! XD
> 
> Insert song is: “Lava,” by James Ford Murphy, Kuana Torres Kahele, and Napua Greig-Nakasone. Note that a certain character’s reaction to the song does not reflect the author’s. 
> 
> Note that this is a double release of chapters 3 and 4! If you don't see chapter 4, please wait a few minutes and refresh your browser. ^_^

Neck

Two weeks later and Xigbar was no closer to figuring out Myde’s condition for leaving with him. He found that he didn’t mind much, other than the increasingly angry or disdainful looks he received from the others. But Myde was good company: always bright, cheerful, and wanting to know more about the worlds outside his own. It certainly didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eye too.

So it was with a light (not gravity powers related) step that he approached Myde’s lake once more... Only to trip over himself and nearly fall flat on his face into the water.

Myde was spread out on the water like a “French girl,” naked, except for his red cap. He looked normal from the waist up, but from the waist down, he had the hind legs and “accoutrement” of his horse form. 

Xigbar choked and tore his eye away from Demyx’s horse… package. 

“Myde… what… what are you doing?” His voice embarrassingly cracked. 

“Aren’t I attractive like this? Prompto swore this was attractive.” The first sentence exuded smug confidence, while the second was muttered with sullen uncertainty. 

“You were trying to be  _ sexy?” _ Xigbar asked in disbelief, still not daring to look. 

Myde absorbed this new word and guessed it’s definition from context.

“Yeah.” 

_ “Why?” _ Xigbar groaned, agonized, placing his hand over his left eye so he could at least face Myde.

“I felt like it,” Myde sulked. “You can look now. I’m dressed again.”

Xigbar managed to catch the last moment of Myde’s long white poofy shirt and brown fitted vest magically slithering into place. He stared suspiciously at Myde’s brown trousered legs and boots.

“Are your legs always a horse’s…?” 

“No.” Myde was still upset. “I transformed them just for you.” 

“...Thanks?” 

“You’re welcome.” Myde hmphed at him. 

“Why, exactly, did you think I’d find that attractive?” 

“One of my brothers, who has human friends, said it was a sure… never mind. Hey, I wrote a new song today. Do you want to hear it?” Myde changed the subject.

“What do you do during the day, anyway?”

“Laze about, compose, play, see if anything interesting’s happening around the lake. I was following you around the second time you were here, waiting to see what you’d do.” 

“I’m not entertainment.”

“No, you’re  _ my  _ entertainment.” Myde stuck his tongue out, clearly feeling better. Xigbar sighed, not wanting to argue with him further. 

“Sure. What’s this about a song?”

“Yeah! My brother, Prompto, lives near something called the ‘Norwegian Sea.’ My brother, Reno, lives near something called a ‘volcano,’ named ‘Eyjafjallajökull.’ I have no idea how accurate my song is, but I tried to base it on their descriptions of where they live!” 

“Okay, let’s hear it.” Xigbar rolled his eye at this too long introduction.

Myde summoned his instrument, strummed it, and sang:

“A long long time ago,

There was a volcano,

Living all alone in the middle of the sea.”

Whenever he got to the chorus, he kept sneaking looks at Xigbar. Xigbar merely raised an eyebrow back, wondering what Myde might have been trying to say:

“I have a dream,

I hope will come true.

That you're here with me,

And I’m here with you.

I wish that the earth, sea, and the sky up above

Will send me someone to lava.”

His song finished with a final “I lava you,” as he stared straight at Xigbar. 

Xigbar politely clapped. The song was catchy and overly sweet and it didn’t have the same beguiling nature Myde’s other music had. Frankly, Xigbar didn’t see the appeal. 

“It seems… different? From your usual stuff?” His attempts at a compliment fell flat.

“My magic wasn’t in this one!” Myde puffed out his cheeks. “I wanted you to like it for the song itself, not because of my magic.” 

“O-oh. Well… It was very… uh…”

“Romantic! The word you’re looking for is ‘romantic!’” 

“Right… That…” 

Myde scrunched his face at him.

“You really don’t have a Heart, do you?”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you.”

“You really didn’t feel anything from the song?” Myde still pressed. 

Xigbar opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again to ponder the question more closely. He searched within himself, and found that he  _ had _ felt something underneath the indifference: pleasure. He’d been pleased that Myde wanted him there, that the song revealed that he also enjoyed their time together just as much Xigbar did. 

“I… did…” he slowly admitted. “I’m happy that you enjoy my company.” 

Myde’s face twisted into resignation before quickly changing into something more neutral.

“It’s a start,” he sighed.

***

Over the next week, Myde continued his antics, trying to seduce Xigbar, and Xigbar continued to be oblivious. 

It wasn’t that Xigbar hated Myde, far from it. It was just that romance had been so foreign to his life thus far, long as it was, that it never even occurred to him what Myde was trying to do. 

At least Myde, equally old and inexperienced, had a support network of hundreds of thousands of caring siblings to help him analyze his situation and feelings. 

“Nothing’s worked.” Myde complained bitterly to the air. Various opinions came back to him, as his siblings offered more suggestions for winning over Xigbar, offered to murder him should Myde send him their way, or suggested that Myde should forget him altogether. 

It was Kimhari’s advice to talk to Xigbar truthfully, that set in motion Myde’s latest plan. 

When Xigbar arrived that night, it was to a contemplative fae, one whose hand rested on his instrument, but was too absent-minded to play.

When he noticed Xigbar’s arrival, he nervously asked him:

“Hey, Xiggy?”

“Xigbar.” Myde had taken to calling him by the nickname, and Xigbar was still trying to persuade him not to.

“Why do you want to recruit me?” The question was blunt.

“I told you, because we need more members.” Xigbar wondered if Myde had the supposed bad memory powers of a goldfish. It would make sense, seeing as how he was a water spirit. 

“No, but why me?”

“Because you seem like a Nobody…?” Xigbar wondered where Myde was going with this.

“Yeah, but, the same is true of my brothers. Why haven’t you tried to recruit any of them?”

Xigbar furrowed his brow. He’d never thought about it before.

“I don’t…” The words died, as he had no explanation to offer.

Myde continued, his voice fairly calm and reasonable, even when it wavered from nerves: “If you wanted to recruit more people, it would make sense to try to recruit as many of us as you could. Even though a certain amount of my brothers would try to kill you, enough of them wouldn’t that it would be logical to try. Maybe even one of them would tell you about the condition for leaving I refuse to. But you haven’t contacted any of them. Why?”

“It just… never crossed my mind.”

Myde took a deep breath. 

“What makes me special, Xiggy? What about me makes it so that you wouldn’t even think about my brothers?”

Xigbar didn’t understand. Why did it matter whether he asked Myde’s brothers or not? They weren’t Myde.  _ They weren’t Myde. _

Myde waited, holding his breath, as he studied Xigbar’s expression. He saw it: the moment Xigbar realized the truth, the truth Myde had already sensed long ago, but which Xigbar had hidden from himself. The golden eye widened in self-discovery, confusion, and bewilderment.

“I…” Xigbar started. Myde swallowed in tense anticipation.

“I don’t know.” He averted his gaze, lying. 

Myde’s heart crumpled, and he felt anger for the first time in years. All fae hated lying, including Myde. But he hated this lie the most.

“Go away,” he said. “I don’t want to see you right now. If you don’t leave, I might drown you.” 

He stared down at his lake, and waited as he heard the movements of Xigbar leaving after hesitating. 

He crouched and used one finger to poke furiously at the water’s surface, breaking the tension and splashing the water about.

“You just had to say the words, stupid.” He whispered furiously. 

It had been easy enough to fall in love with this person who didn’t fear him, who resisted being mesmerized by his magic, and who was so knowledgeable and worldly. 

He sang to the lake hoarsely, even as his eyes stung with tears:

“I have a dream,

I hope will come true.

That… you’re here with me, 

And I’m…”

His throat closed on the words, unable to continue. 

Myde cried the rest of the night away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double release! Chapters 3 and 4 complement each other, so I decided to release them together.
> 
> My head cannon for Prompto’s advice last chapter: Reno told Prompto to be naked as a joke. Prompto took it seriously, but because he’s bad at transformation, he accidentally transformed into his horse legs. The guys were too nice to say anything about it, so he just assumed he did it right and told Myde to do it that way…

Neck

Earlier that day...

“Xigbar. Lord Xemnas wishes to see you.” Saïx delivered the message to the bleary eyed sharpshooter, who’d only just awoken to answer the door. 

“Now?”

“Now.”

Xigbar sighed.

“Okay. Let me at least get my clothes on.”

He hurriedly dressed and rubbed the beginnings of stubble on his face absentmindedly as he sleepily ambled along behind Saïx to Xemnas’s office. He fell back asleep momentarily as they waited for the Superior to respond to Saïx’s knock. Really, staying up all night every day did take its toll. Did Myde ever need to shave…? The question came to him as he jerked awake again. 

He entered when Saïx held the door for him, and only just made it to the chair without tripping.

“Xigbar.” Xemnas spoke, then paused to gather his thoughts. “What progress?”

“I’m getting there! He’s almost persuaded. He, uh, just has to tie up loose ends with his current situation.” Xigbar wasn’t sure whether Xemnas had bought the lie.

“Xigbar.” Xemnas leaned forward, hands steepled together in a show of power. “You have one more day.”

“One more day?” Xigbar felt numb disbelief. Surely, Xemnas wasn’t suggesting…! 

“You cannot keep away from regular missions as you have been. It’s fostering resentment among your fellow Nobodies. And if they become too resentful, they might start wondering why they are able to feel any emotion at all. Tomorrow, whether you’ve recruited this person or no, you are to go back to your regular missions… with them being doubled.” 

“But, but, sir!” Xigbar sat up and objected.  _ “What about Myde?” _

“I don’t care. Write him off as a lost cause if you can’t manage it. Or go visit him when you next have free time. Which won’t be for a  _ long _ time.” 

“But!”

_ “Xigbar.” _

“Yes, Superior.” Xigbar spat. Out of sheer anger he portaled right then and there back to his room, not caring for etiquette in the slightest. 

He let himself fall face down onto his bed, buried his face in his pillow, and wondered what he was going to do. 

He idly raised his face to look at the second pillow on the bed which he kept there because it looked weird for a queen sized bed to have only one pillow. A snatch of a song resounded through his mind:

“I have a dream,

I hope will come true.

That you’re here—.”

He buried his head again as the “with me” petered out in his brain. He didn’t know why he felt so miserable.

_ Damn Myde and his fae magic. The fucker must have lied about not putting his magic into the song. _ Xigbar morosely comforted himself, ignoring the fact that he could never remember the content of Myde’s magic-infused music in the slightest. 

He wondered what it would be like to have Myde here with him, in the castle, in his room. Would Myde fit in? Would he be happy here? What would it be like to wake up to know that Myde and his smile was right there beside him? 

If… Myde wasn’t happy here, would Xigbar be able to let him go back? Yes, he decided. It would be easy to fake an accident and let the fae return to his home world without Xemnas being the wiser. Even if Xigbar wouldn’t want him to go.

As Xigbar’s thoughts went round and round with plans and suppositions, he slowly succumbed back to sleep. 

***

Xigbar didn’t know what he was going to say. How could he tell Myde that after today he wasn’t sure when he’d be back? 

It was Myde who solved the conundrum for him.

“Hey, Xiggy?”

“Xigbar,” he corrected.

“Why do you want to recruit me?” 

“I told you, because we need more members.” Myde looked at Xigbar as though Xigbar were very stupid and stating the obvious.

“No, but why me?”

“Because you seem like a Nobody…?” And he did. Despite his bright exterior, Xigbar sometimes caught hints of a callow ruthlessness that usually belonged only to beings with no Heart. Or maybe it was a fae thing.

“Yeah, but, the same is true of my brothers. Why haven’t you tried to recruit any of them?” Myde seemed to be leading the conversation somewhere, but Xigbar couldn’t imagine where.

“I don’t…” He trailed off, puzzled.

Xigbar listened carefully, watching Myde try to hide his vulnerability behind a calm facade:

“If you wanted to recruit more people, it would make sense to try to recruit as many of us as you could. Even though a certain amount of my brothers would try to kill you, enough of them wouldn’t that it would be logical to try. Maybe even one of them would tell you about the condition for leaving I refuse to. But you haven’t contacted any of them. Why?”

“It just… never crossed my mind.”

Xigbar stilled, instinctually knowing the importance of Myde’s next words.

“What makes me special, Xiggy? What about me makes it so that you wouldn’t even think about my brothers?”

Xigbar didn’t understand. Why did it matter whether he asked Myde’s brothers or not? They weren’t Myde.  _ They weren’t Myde. _

And then he knew. 

Xigbar felt his eye widen as realization struck. He was in love with Myde.  _ He was in love with Myde. _

But… he couldn’t be. There’s no way he could allow this. 

He didn’t have a Heart. Ergo,  _ he couldn’t love Myde. _ But he did. 

He was leaving after today, for who knows how long.  _ It wouldn’t be fair to Myde. _ But he couldn’t help it.

He had to make sure the Master’s plan went well.  _ Love couldn’t be allowed to interfere with the Master’s plans. _ But maybe it wouldn’t? 

In that moment, Xigbar was drowning is a sea of his own emotions. He felt panic and terror and bafflement and confusion and disorientation and he felt love. And he had no idea what to do about it.

“I… I don’t know.”  _ I love you. _ He lied, but he didn’t. He knew his feelings now, but there was still so much he didn’t understand: about himself, about Myde, about how this new feeling might ruin centuries of endured pain and loneliness and agony. Or how it might not. 

He wasn’t ready to tell Myde. To share this part of himself yet. 

But Myde wouldn’t wait.

“Go away,” he said. “I don’t want to see you right now. If you don’t leave, I might drown you.” 

For the first time, Xigbar saw real anger on Myde’s face. 

He hesitated, feeling anxious and lost. He had to at least let Myde know...

“Myde…” 

But Myde said nothing further, just tightened the line of his lips, and Xigbar left. 

Numbly, he thought that it was a good thing that he got to go to bed early. So that he could wake up and not be tired for his mission tomorrow. 

And if his pillow was wet in the morning, no one had to know. 


	5. Chapter 5

Neck

Xigbar never came back. 

At first, Myde wasn’t sure whether he wanted to see him or not the next day. He spent the time he was invisible anxiously waiting for Xigbar to come, and dreading the encounter when he did.

The only thing that helped him pass the time was practicing his portal creation. He couldn’t leave the lake yet, but when he did, he wanted to impress Xiggy with how quickly he picked up skills, so he’d been secretly practicing every day for the past few weeks. Every time Xigbar came or went, Myde did his best to observe the portal and how Xigbar made or closed it. Through experimentation, he’d managed to create a small, wobbly rubber ball-sized hole of Darkness, but he had no idea if he was even doing it right. 

Still, he couldn’t wait to see Xiggy’s face when he tried to teach him how to create portals and Myde could go “Ta-da!” And create a portal right then.

The usual time of Xiggy’s arrival came and went, and Myde was left with a sour heaviness in his stomach. 

Xiggy hadn’t come.  _ Xiggy hadn’t come. _

…Did Xiggy hate him now?

For the first time in his long life, Myde felt alone. 

***

Xigbar was tired.

No, scratch that. 

Xigbar was  _ exhausted. _

To make up for his weeks of “laziness,” he’d been given extra missions every day for the past two months. In fact, at this point, he’d even been doing double missions for longer than the entire time he’d been on “vacation.” 

He’d complained to Xemnas about it, but the work did need to be done, and they still didn’t have enough members to help pick up the slack.

So Xigbar was left feeling gray with exhaustion, cycling between missions and sleeping. He barely even had the time to eat. He’d even noticed a few gray hairs in the mirror the other day, and that was only because Axel had refused to do their joint mission unless Xigbar bathed first, and Xigbar had glanced in the mirror for the first time in weeks as he was undressing. 

Now, Xigbar staggered across Agrabah’s sands, the sand storm making finding any Heartless impossible. He tugged his hood on up over his head, even as the scouring wind pulled it back off again immediately. 

He wasn’t going to survive long in these conditions, so it was with defeat and irritation at the scolding he’d get for failing the mission that he created a portal back to the castle. 

His vision blurred as he entered, this time not from the sand, but from relaxing too early and letting his guard down.

His last thought before losing consciousness was how he wanted a drink of water. Of course, thinking about water inevitably led to a fleeting thought of Myde.

He never even noticed when he entered free fall.

***

Myde patiently coaxed the portal into existence. He’d learned over the months that if he let himself be distracted or got impatient, he’d fail. Sure, his portal was in the wrong place: a storey above his lake, rather than somewhere he could actually reach, but it wasn’t as though the barrier preventing him leaving would let him go through even if it was right next to him. 

He’d tried once: when he’d gotten too tired waiting for Xiggy to show up and decided he’d go search for Xiggy himself. He’d bounced pitifully off the invisible wall, his portal mockingly within reach, falling back down into the lake. He’d let himself sink, fuming, before bouncing back up and trying again. Same result. He didn’t try a third time.

So it was with no small amount of astonishment that Myde saw someone tumble through his portal. He stared blankly for a moment, before using his powers, quickly breaking the tension of the water’s surface to prevent the falling person from being injured. The water striders all started drowning, so Myde hurriedly controlled the water to scoop them up and place them on a part of the lake farther away, where the water tension still existed.

As he worked to save the striders, the person fell into the lake. Myde panicked when he realized that the person was sinking. He’d assumed that the person, whomever it was, would start treading water once he or she landed in the lake, and hadn’t paid too much attention. 

Forgetting that he could just control the water to bring the person to the surface, Myde dove in and swam down after the person. Once he was underneath the person, he changed into his horse form, letting the person lie across his back as he swam back upwards. 

What he was doing was very much against the creed of the Neck. When a Neck had a person on their horse form’s back, it was, without exception, to drown the person. No Neck had ever allowed a person on their back for any other reason. 

But Myde did.

Always seen as a bit of an odd one among his siblings, this would just have to be one more way he was different from them. 

Myde broke above the surface of the water, using his normal powers to lift him front half onto the surface. He turned back into a person, grabbing the figure from his back and hauling him or her onto the still surface he’d created. 

He gasped as he finally got a look at the figure, falling back into the lake in his shock, his chest thumping strangely. 

The unmistakable features of Xiggy were turned toward him, quiet and unbreathing. Myde treaded water and checked Xiggy’s lungs for any water. He coaxed the water out, Xiggy spitting it out inelegantly. 

With a deep breath, Xiggy started breathing again, even if he was still unconscious. 

Myde gave a quiet sigh in relief, and propped his elbow on the water, waiting for Xiggy to wake up. 

He stared at Xiggy and wondered what would happen now. He should… he should apologize, right? For telling Xiggy to go away like that. 

But Xiggy shouldn’t have lied like that! But maybe… maybe he shouldn’t have pressed so hard? Maybe he should have let Xiggy tell him in his own time? 

Half an hour passed without Myde realizing as he moped and reflected. 

It was only when a bold water strider passed in front of him that he startled and realized Xiggy still hadn’t awakened. 

A low ball of panic settled his stomach and his chest thumped uncomfortably. 

What should he do?

Humans… what did human beings do when one of them wouldn’t wake up? Maybe someone could help Xiggy?

Myde snapped his head up to look at the portal that was still open and suspended above his lake. 

He needed to get Xiggy help. 

He gathered Xigbar into his arms and carefully gathered the water below them into a spout that brought them slowly upward. He controlled the water to bring them closer to the portal. 

Myde looked down, and wished he hadn’t. 

Xiggy had once used his space powers on him to help Myde rise above the lake, and even that had felt uncomfortably high. 

Now he was even higher. 

He swallowed nervously, and placed a hand to his chest to calm the thumping that had sped up. There must be something wrong with him too. But there was no time to consult his brothers. Who knows how much his delaying had already hurt Xiggy? 

Hesitantly, he placed a hand against the portal. He felt the smooth, invisible barrier that had prevented him from straying too far from his lake his whole life. 

Nothing had changed.

Myde’s hand curled into a fist and he pounded against the wall in frustration. Xiggy needed him, needed his help, and he was stuck where he always was.

Tears pricked the corner of his eyes, and a sob rose up. 

“He loves me,” he told the wall. “He loves me! So let me through, damn it.” 

Nothing.

“Just because he hasn’t said it?! Just because of that, you’re not going to let me save him?!” He railed, despair tinging his tone. 

Inexplicably his chest hurt, and he curled inward, one fist still on the wall, his other clutching his chest as he pressed his cheek against Xigbar’s chest. He stayed there, trying to recover from the strange sensations assaulting him.

He opened his eyes wide.

Through the leather, he could swear he almost felt the slightest of beats, eerily similar to the thumping that was assaulting his own chest. 

“Xiggy,” he breathed. Xiggy could be dying, and he was useless. 

Straightening back up, he wiped his eyes, and with a new determination beat against the barrier.

“Let me through, damn it! I will save Xiggy! I will! I love him!” 

With the last sentence, the barrier vanished, leaving the surprised Myde to fall through while carrying Xigbar. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that a scene in this chapter will probably make people think of Wilson Jr. from “Illuminate the Dark,” but the mechanics are supposed to be different, more similar to “I Just Want The Stars,” I swear…

Neck

Myde’s knees hit the ground, and with a gasp he felt his pants tear, the stone scraping away his flesh. Xigbar’s weight on his knees only added to the pain, and for a moment, Myde’s vision swam.

He looked around him and could see only Darkness. He needed to… he needed to find someone to help Xiggy.

He lifted Xiggy up as best he could, and awkwardly stood. There was no way he was going to be able to carry Xiggy like this. Xiggy was too heavy, and there wasn’t any water nearby. 

As Myde tried to drag Xigbar onto his back, a tendril of Darkness reached for Myde, aiming for his chest. 

Myde used a hand to bat it away, which resulted in him dropping Xiggy and losing his progress. 

Another tendril reached out and another and another. Before Myde had much of a chance to scream, they were on him, tearing at him, trying to open his chest and devour him. 

The pain caused Myde to sway deliriously before he wrenched his consciousness toward the task of fighting back. 

He opened his mouth and through the wheezing of his chest, forced out a few wobbly magic-infused notes. 

To his surprise, a thin film of water developed on his skin, acting like a protective layer. Suddenly the Darkness wasn’t able to reach him. 

More confident and no longer in as much pain, Myde sang louder, even as he reached down to drag the comatose Xigbar onto his back. Finally successful, even as the Dark tendrils beat at his water armor, he took a faltering step forward. Then another. Even on his back, Xigbar was too heavy.

Myde stopped and closed his eyes for a moment, preparing himself for what he needed to do. He let himself transform into his horse shape, and without the protection of his magic to help him, he ran.

He dodged as many of the outreaching tendrils as he could, but it was impossible to escape them all. His chest throbbed with pain every time a tendril brushed against him or temporarily stopped him, but he couldn’t think of that. Wouldn’t allow himself to think of that. He only focused on finding a way to help Xiggy. 

He galloped across the Darkness for far longer than a normal horse would have been able to. But even so, by the time he registered an area of brighter darkness ahead, he was exhausted. As he approached the opening, the Darkness became fiercer, almost as if it knew he was about to escape it. He made one last ditch effort to pull away from the assault, straining his muscles as hard as he could. He approached the exit, the Darkness disappearing as he stepped through, causing him to tumble to the ground for the second time that day, even as he returned to his human form, out of sheer magical and physical exhaustion. He needed to rest, just for a moment...

***

When Myde came to, it was to the patter of rain upon his head, arms, and legs, his body being covered by Xigbar’s dead weight. 

In a daze, he traced the surface of the ground with one hand, amazed at the smoothness and levelness of the stone beneath him. It was unnatural how flat it was. 

His skin absorbed the rain and he felt his strength slowly return. When he finally managed to raise himself enough to look up, he was shocked by his surroundings. 

Stone and reflective as water mountains surrounded him as far as he could see, some radiating light from their depths or from the millions of holes cut out from them or from strangely shaped lanterns. Despite the rain, the moon shone down, but it’s light paled compared to the light of the mountains around him. Myde had never seen a mountain before, but they sounded like what his brothers had told him: tall and awe-inspiring and dangerous. And he was on one of them right now.

Myde trembled at the thought of how high up he must be, his body shaking and his teeth chattering uncontrollably with fear. 

In front of him there was movement, and he realized for the first time that there’d been a figure in front of him all along.

The figure had been looking at the moon from the edge of the mountain, its back turned to him, arms behind its back. Now it was looking at him, familiar black coat hood hiding its features completely from view. 

“You’re here.” It, no,  _ he _ said. “I’ve been waiting.”

Dumbfounded, a shudder made a slow crawl along Myde’s body, freezing him into place. Instinct told Myde that this man was the most dangerous thing he’d ever encountered. 

“For me?” The words came out in a breathless gasp of repulsion. 

“Who else?” The figure playfully shrugged. The man stepped over to Myde, reaching a hand down to help the fae wiggle out from under Xigbar. With only a slight hesitation, Myde took it, despite every inclination telling him to run away as fast as possible. 

Once Myde was standing, the figure circled him, stepping over Xigbar, and looking him up and down appraisingly. 

“Water fae, huh?” The man murmured to himself. “He sure knows how to pick ‘em.” 

Myde swallowed.

“Please.” His voice came out too softly. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Please, can you help Xiggy?” Myde pleaded.

The man paused, and Myde wondered if he’d made a horrible mistake speaking up at all. 

“Oh, him? He’s just fine. He’s exhausted and malnourished, but it’s nothing a little R&R can’t fix.” 

“But,” Myde refuted. “There’s something in his chest that’s beating! In mine too…” he trailed off miserably.

“That’s just your Heart, nothing to worry about.”

“Heart? But I—.”

“You may have thought you had a Heart before, but you didn’t. Now you do. Your feelings for him made you grow one. It’s why the Darkness attacked you in the Corridor. He was safe because of the coat, but you didn’t have that. Well, now you do. Here.” 

The man pulled out a new black coat from his own coat pocket, one that looked distinctly Myde sized. 

“I made this for you a while ago. It’s been sitting in my pocket for far too long.” He prodded it at Myde. “Well, go on. Try it.” 

Myde took the coat and put it on, the leather feeling surprisingly warm and comfortable, even though it cut off his access to the rain.

“You’ll need to get rid of the cap somehow. Can’t wear a hood over it.”

Myde held his cap defensively, unwilling to give up the definitive sign of his species. 

“Hey, don’t glare at me like that!” The man jumped back and waved his hands in front of him. “You could just find some way to hide it…?”

Myde breathed out and concentrated. His cap sunk into his hair, disguising itself as upward strands. As if to compensate, the hair on the sides where the cap didn’t touch became shorn, giving the appearance of what he’d later come to know was called a faux Mohawk. 

“Not bad,” the man praised. “You really are quite skilled.” 

“How do you know so much about me?” The question that had been searing his tongue finally left it.

Even though Myde couldn’t see his face, he knew that the man was giving him  _ a look, _ and Myde shivered involuntarily again.

“Let’s just say I have my ways.” 

The man reached over and tenderly pulled up Myde’s hood, but Myde couldn’t help but think that there was a veiled violence to the motion, a hidden threat. 

“You’ll take care of him for me, won’t you?” Myde felt the man’s breath splash against his face, and Myde stared up into the face of his oppressor, sheer terror keeping him fixed in place. 

“Who?” He barely whispered.

“My apprentice. My Luxu.” And if Myde heard the faintest of emphasis on the possessives, his mind blocked the idea out. 

“I’ll let him be yours for now.” A gloved hand caressed the fae’s cheek, before sliding down to press gently against his neck, thumb drawing small circles against Myde’s collarbone. “But in the end… well, he certainly won’t be yours.” 

Despite the hand on his neck, causing Myde’s pulse to jump spastically, he gathered the courage to explain:

“I don’t know any Luxu. The one I love is Xiggy!” 

The man chuckled, and his thumb dug cruelly into Myde’s flesh, as the hand tightened around his throat. It wasn’t enough to strangle him—the position of the hand was all wrong—but it was enough to threaten him with the idea of strangulation and to make Myde feel pain. 

“They’re the same person and Luxu is mine. He will _always_ _be mine.” _

Myde struggled with this thought for a moment, his hand coming up, finally, to tug at the man’s hold.

“That’s wrong!” He wheezed. 

“Oh?”

“Xiggy is Xiggy’s! You don’t own him! And neither do I! Who his Heart belongs to, it’s up to Xiggy!”

“You pass.” The man released him suddenly, stepping away, leaving Myde to rub his neck and wonder about what had just happened. 

“If you’d been as selfish as you’d been before, there’s no way I could have let Luxu be with you.” The man wagged his finger at Myde. “Just remember: if you mess up,  _ I’m _ always a viable option for him.” Myde couldn’t tell whether the man was joking, or how serious he’d been for the past several minutes. His declaration over Xiggy had certainly felt like more than just a test. 

“To tell the truth, I actually don’t know who he’ll choose in the end. There are too many uncertain variables to account for, too many possible futures.” 

Myde could feel the man’s manic smile, even if he couldn’t see it.

“Well, there’s a good chunk of futures where he picks me over you, so I’m not too worried about it.” 

The man clapped his hands together.

“Now I think it’s time you ought to be going. Can’t have Luxu be wet and cold for too long. He might catch a cold.” 

A portal formed in front of the man. 

“This’ll take you straight to where you need to go. The coat’ll protect you, even when you’re a horse. Just remember to change back before you exit. Oh, and now that you’ve left your lake, you’ll be visible even in the daytime, so remember that.” 

Myde silently lifted Xigbar up, unsure what even to say to this person. The man waved imperiously in Myde’s direction, making no move to help. 

“No need to thank me. Things will all work out my way in the end.” 

Myde let himself turn into his horse form, and plodded toward the portal.

He paused just before it, his earlier experience bright in his mind’s eye. 

His thoughts were interrupted when the man smacked his butt with a snicker and a “high ya!” 

He whinnied in protest and turned his head to give the man a dead stare.

“I always wanted to do that,” the man shrugged, unrepentant. With an unconvinced snort, Myde turned back to the portal, and headed in. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… apparently the “Nokk” are in a movie that’s currently in theaters and yeah, “Nokk” is just a different spelling of “Neck.” Timely fic is timely?

Neck

The man hadn’t lied. 

The Darkness slipped past Myde, slithering its way elsewhere, but ignored the bright white horse clopping painfully past. Now that his adrenaline was wearing down, his scrapped knees were starting to throb, along with his chin and arm (front leg) from where he’d hit the ground (?) when losing consciousness. 

Myde took his time traveling through the portal, not because he was afraid of the unknown on the other side, but because he was just too tired to go faster. 

He almost fell asleep while walking and stumbled through the bright exit ahead of him. Luckily, he misstepped awake just in time, and transformed to his humanoid form, adjusting Xiggy on his back as he did so. With a breath of uneasy anticipation, he squared his shoulders and stepped through.

***

Myde entered a strange area, just as unfamiliar to him as the mountains before had been. But this time, none of his brothers’ tales of their homes matched anything like this place.

The sky was blocked by white stone above, and white stone surrounded him below and to the sides. He felt trapped, and if it weren’t for the two men in front of him catching his attention, he would have panicked. 

“Who are you and how did you get here?” A man with long, blond hair snapped at him. Another man, shorter, younger, with slate-colored hair brushed over one eye coldly observed him. 

“I’m Myde… I don’t know how I got here.” Technically it wasn’t a lie—he didn’t know how the man was able to create portals like him and Xiggy—but it was barely a truth at all. Myde’s pulse jumped, wondering if they knew. Surely they must know he’d lied, just like how he could tell when someone told an untruth? Since the man hadn’t come with them, Myde could only suppose he wasn’t part of this group, and figured that mentioning the man might not be the best of ideas. 

As he was standing there, shifting from tired foot to tired foot, he hefted Xiggy up and the man’s short ponytail slid over his shoulder. 

“Is that… Xigbar?” The younger man questioned. 

“Um… yeah! This guy… he… uh… fell into m—a—lake in front of me. I got him out and carried him through the weird dark thingy he came out of.” Myde paused for the briefest of moments, his instinct to lie at war with his deep seated speciesist need to tell the truth. He felt his jaw tick as he forced himself to skip over the episode with the man on the mountains. “And we ended up here! He’s been unconscious the whole time.”

“How did you get that coat?” The younger man asked suspiciously, as the older one grumbled and started helping to remove Xigbar from Myde’s back. 

“I…” He tried to force the words “found it” past his lips, but he couldn’t manage it. Fortunately, with Xiggy’s weight off his back, he couldn’t keep himself stabilized any more, and collapsed forward, cutting off the necessity of conversation. 

The slate haired man managed to catch him, and Myde could only briefly look up and whisper “sorry,” before passing out for the second time that day. 

  
  


***

Xigbar awoke in Vexen’s lab to a rather cranky scientist and the grossly bitter taste of potion in his mouth. 

He sat up, dizziness making him attempt the feat more slowly than he was used to. As he clutched his head to steady it, his other hand gripping hard the edge of the metal table he was resting on, movement in his peripheral vision made him swing his head to the left, and look at Zexion dabbing potion with a cotton ball held in forceps onto the unconscious Myde’s knees. 

“Myde?” He questioned his own eyes. What was Myde doing here? 

“So you do know this interloper.” Vexen grumbled irritably. 

“Yeah.” Xigbar’s mouth felt dry, and he wasn’t sure if it was just from trying to swallow away the taste of the potion. “He’s the guy I’ve been trying to recruit.” 

“Do you know how he got one of our coats?” 

“I… I gave it to him.” Of course he didn’t know how Myde got a coat. But better to lie now, than have Myde get in trouble. He could question Myde later.

“You _ gave _ it to him?!” Vexen demanded, outraged.

“He’s one of us. He was going to need it to get here eventually.” 

“Of all the irresponsible…” Vexen fell into an unintelligible mumble; but Xigbar could guess at the content of his words. 

“How’d we get here? Why was I unconscious and why’s Myde out?” Even though he directed his questions at Vexen, it was Zexion who spoke up.

“You were out due to malnutrition and over exhaustion. We force fed you a potion, but it’s a temporary measure.”

“I’ll let the Superior know that you need to cut back on your work,” Vexen grudgingly conceded.

“This… Myde,” Zexion continued. “Portaled in with you on his back. He claimed you fell into a lake in front of him and that he took the portal you created back here. It doesn’t make sense, but he fainted before we could get any more out of him. He’s showing signs of Darkness exposure.” 

“Darkness exposure?!” Xigbar asked, startled. “You mean he was attacked in the corridor?”

“It looks that way.” Zexion answered blithely, completely indifferent to the mild panic that had taken over Xigbar.

“Is he okay?!” 

“If he really is a Nobody like us, he should be fine. No Heart, remember?”

“But the Heartless have never attacked Myde before! They’ve always been completely uninterested in him!”

“...Xigbar.” Zexion looked at him uncomprehendingly. “Do you want me to examine this man for a Heart?” 

“...No. He won’t have one.” Xigbar was fairly confident that the Neck not having souls was equivalent to the Nobodies not having Hearts, but he wasn’t eager to put that theory to the test. Not if it meant Myde might not be allowed to stay. 

“You should go back to your room and rest,” Vexen interjected, from where he was checking some monitors. 

“As if! What about Myde?” 

“What about him?” The Chilly Academic sniffed.

“I can’t just leave him here. He’s… he hasn’t been around people much. Probably better if he wakes up to a familiar face.” 

The two scientists exchanged glances, visibly perplexed. 

“Xigbar…” Zexion finally ventured. “Are you sexually intimate acquaintances?” 

“No! What makes you even think _ that?!” _

“Where do you have space to put him in your room other than your bed?” Zexion responded calmly and casually to Xigbar’s indignant outburst. The tips of Xigbar’s ears flushed red. Zexion looked at the older man with fascination, as though he’d never seen someone blush from just their ears before. Considering his age when he’d become a Nobody, he probably hadn’t. 

“My bed’s big enough! And I still think it’s more important that I be there when he wakes up!” 

Zexion shrugged and Vexen rolled his eyes. 

“Fine. Suit yourself.” Zexion set down the forceps and moved away from Myde. He went over to the potion cabinet and retrieved a bottle, handing it over to Xigbar.

“Have him drink plenty of water when he wakes up to flush his system. Not that we really know if that will help… If he shows unusual symptoms or is in pain anywhere, use the potion.”

Xigbar stuck the potion carelessly into a pocket and nodded, only half paying attention. He gathered the blond into his arms, and despite how heavy Myde was, his arms felt pleasantly full. He tucked the blond’s head under his chin, the hair on top tickling his chin, feeling almost fabric-like. He paused for a moment—Zexion and Vexen probably assuming he was gauging Myde’s weight before lifting him up, but really it was to appreciate the warmth and subtle scent of lake water (the non-stinking kind) radiating from the body in his arms. It made his chest give a thump he hadn’t felt… that he’d never felt, even when he was just Luxu, with a mother who loved him and a destiny waiting to be chosen for him. 

He breathed deep and lifted the other man up, grateful he wouldn’t have to carry him very far—not like when he’d had to lug the amnesiac Xehanort all the way to the castle. Myde was lighter, deceptively so, and Xigbar wondered if being lighter than normal human beings was another fae thing. That didn’t mean he wasn’t heavy. 

Zexion considerately opened the portal for them and Xigbar walked through. 

The trip was short and he came out the other side and gently set Myde down on right side of the bed when facing it. That way, as he lay on his back, Xigbar would be able to open his good eye to see Myde at any time. He quickly changed into boxers and undershirt, his normal sleepwear, and wrestled with the sheets out from under Myde as best he could without waking the blond. 

Despite the feeling of uncleanliness and wanting to shower, his need for sleep was too much, and he quickly drifted off. 


	8. Chapter 8

Neck

Myde woke up wondering if these bouts of losing time were going to be a regular occurrence from now on. The Neck didn’t sleep, although Myde was aware of the concept, having seen Xiggy do it on more than one occasion. 

Then he opened his eyes. 

He was looking upwards, but he couldn’t see the sky. Where was the sky? He had never not been able to see it before now. His breathing started to turn panicked, and he sat up suddenly, looking around wildly for the sky. 

He was in another stone enclosed area, cut off from nature. 

His breathing became quick gasps as he felt the stone close in on him. It was going to crush him, he knew it. He’d never felt so restricted and powerless in his life.

A small breeze hitting his cheek caused him to look to the side, and he saw an opening, not too dissimilar to the ones he’d seen on the mountains, out of which he could see black sky. 

It was only a moment before he was racing for the opening, sticking his body half out of it, and taking huge gulps of air, as his eyes clung to the black sky, the rain hitting his face, and washing the cold sweat away. He felt his legs soften in relief and he knelt, still keeping as much of himself as he safely could out in the open, still full body trembling. His heart wouldn’t stop pounding and he felt dizzy. 

If he had looked down, he’d probably be terrified at how high up he was, but he didn’t, too distracted by the horror of being enclosed by the area behind him, and desperately holding onto the sight of the sky above him.

He gave a full body twitch when he heard a murmured “Myde?” But he was unable to look back or to reply to the voice, his vision spotting from the hyperventilation he was only just recovering from. 

A hand on his back startled him, but he was only able to shudder once in response. A concerned voice by his side asked if he was okay, and he decided that he’d risk it: he’d look at who was talking to him and hope that the stone didn’t get to him first.

“Xiggy?” He whispered with a gasp, looking into the familiar face. Xigbar’s hand soothingly stroked up and down.

“What’s wrong?”

“The stone! I can’t see the sky.” Myde tried to explain. He knew he wasn’t doing a good job of it, but he couldn’t find the words he needed. He looked back outside. 

“I guess you’ve never been in a room before.” Xigbar responded sympathetically and self-deprecatingly.

“Room?”

“A room is a space enclosed with walls, ceiling, and floor. It’s a part of a larger structure called a ‘building.’ All, well, almost all, human beings live in them.”

“Do I have to live in one?” 

“If you plan on staying here, yes.” 

“And it’s not dangerous?” Myde insisted. 

“No. It’s not.” 

Myde closed his eyes and let himself slump downward, allowing himself to be fully in the room. He took a deep breath. And another. He was still alive. 

***

Xigbar woke up sensing something different about his room. There was a presence beside him, and he turned his head to see… oh, Myde! He turned over onto his side and used his arm as a pillow so that his vision wouldn’t be blocked by the real one. It occurred to him that it would have been easier if his and Myde’s positions were reversed. But it was too late for that now. 

Enough light came in through the window, and his night vision was adjusted well enough, that he was able to see Myde fairly clearly. Myde was here with him. He unconsciously smiled, and it was only when he felt the stretch of his scar that he wonderingly put his hand to his face and realized what he was doing. 

He’d never seen Myde sleep before, and he felt tempted to run his fingertips over the blond’s eyelids to check if they really were closed. Of course he didn’t, but it didn’t stop his hand from unconsciously reaching out and being half way to poking the blond’s cheek, before he quickly retrieved the errant appendage. 

He fell back into a doze like that, his arm slowly becoming numb, but unwilling to stop being turned toward Myde or obstruct his line of sight. 

It was the abrupt movement of someone sitting up that woke him again. Normally, if he’d been startled awake like this, he would have summoned a weapon to point at the possible threat, but whether it was from the exhaustion, the safety he felt in Myde’s presence, or a combination of both, he was muddled and unable to wake up completely quickly. 

When his brain finally came online, it was to the vision of Myde halfway out the window. 

“Myde?” He asked, concerned. What Myde was doing didn’t look safe. 

He managed to get up without too much swaying, and placed what he hoped was a comforting hand upon Myde’s back. 

“You okay?” He grunted. 

He was greeted with Myde’s pale face and frightened eyes. 

Myde turned away, and Xigbar cursed himself when he heard the disjointed explanation. Myde had lived his whole life out in the open, away from any people. Of course he didn’t know what a room was. Just please, don’t let this drive Myde away.

Myde slumped down, accepting being in the room, and Xigbar stood there, not sure what he should do. He’d never had to calm someone’s fears before. When Ienzo had screamed at night, it had been Even or Aeleus who rushed to his side. In earlier lifetimes, he’d always kept himself detached, turning a deaf ear to his new apprentices whimpering themselves to sleep, or to the fearful cries of his vessels as he took over their bodies. Even when he’d been just an apprentice himself, there had been no one there to comfort him. 

He’d once seen the Master comfort Ava after she’d broken a flask and started crying. He’d patted her head and told her it was all right. He’d burned with such jealousy at the time, that the next day he pretended to accidentally break a flask himself, waiting for the Master’s back to be turned, before deliberately letting it go. The Master had just given him a  _ look, _ as though he knew exactly what Luxu had done and why, and was disappointed in him. Luxu’s stomach had curled with shame, and he’d felt cold in the wake of the Master’s silent disdain. 

Xigbar shifted from one foot to the other as he tried to think of what his mother would have done. He couldn’t recall her well enough to know, but it did spark an idea.

He knelt down beside Myde, and tugged him into his arms.

“Hey,” he said, voice still rough from sleep. “It’s going to be okay.”

Myde relaxed, letting go of the tension in his body, and brought his arms up to circle around Xigbar in return.

“I don’t… I was so eager to see outside my lake. But it’s… I’m scared, Xiggy.” 

Xigbar responded slowly, feeling out the words as he said them:

“It can be scary… experiencing new things… and that’s okay.” 

It had been a long time since he himself had had a “new” experience, but Myde was certainly reteaching him the terror of the unknown. 

“But… I’m glad you’re here.” Tunelessly, he tried to sing: “I have a dream, I hope will come true.”

Myde joined him for the next lines, his voice vibrating against Xigbar’s shoulder, tickling him: “That you're here with me, And I’m here with you.” 

Xigbar stopped singing before the next part, not ready to sing about love, even if it was couched in terms of “lava.” Myde broke off a few notes later, and finally lifted his head and opened his eyes.

“You remembered!”

“Haven’t been able to get the damn thing out of my head.” 

Myde gave a soft giggle. 

“I can write another one, if that would help?”

Xigbar raised his hands from Myde’s body and waved them in mock horror, even if Myde couldn’t see them, could only feel his body shaking from the movement. 

“As if! I don’t need  _ two  _ songs stuck in my head!”

Myde laughed louder and Xigbar found himself smiling back. This moment wasn’t perfect: he was feeling pretty gross with the need to shower, and Myde was still slightly trembling, likely an after effect of the panic he’d gone through, but Xigbar couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be. 

“What happened to your hair?” He finally asked, bringing a hand up to fiddle with the blond strands on top. 

“It’s my hat!” Myde explained, eyes narrowing with mischief. “I transformed it into hair!” He gave a grin. 

Xigbar removed his hand, startled. 

“It feels like hair…?” He muttered. “Will you take it off when you wash your hair? ...I’m assuming that if you sleep now, you probably also need to eat and bathe and p—other stuff…” 

Myde‘s expression took on a lost look. “I don’t know?” 

“We’ll… figure it out.” Xigbar assured. 

Myde’s stomach took that moment to make a low gurgle, which Xigbar never would have heard if they weren’t pressed up so close. Myde looked confused.

“Was that me?”

“Yeah, that was you.” Xigbar laughed. “That usually means you’re hungry. And need to eat food.” Xigbar’s stomach made an answering rumble. “Guess I’m hungry too. Look, let me take a shower and get dressed and then we’ll get some food, okay?”

Myde nodded, still looking a bit mystified. 

“Before I go do that,” Xigbar stood up. “I should probably know where you got the coat. I told Vexen and Zexion I gave it to you, but knowing the real answer would be useful.”

Myde hesitated, unwilling to explain. The man’s words of “things will all work out my way in the end” rang in his ears. What connection did the man and Xiggy have? What guarantee did he have that Xiggy’s feelings wouldn’t change? 

Anxiously, he turned his thoughts to his connection with his brothers, hoping to ask their advice. His mind turned blank as he realized that the connection was gone—he must have lost it the moment he’d left his home. He’d never been without his brothers before. He’d never met any of them, but they’d always been there, a presence he could reach out to at any time. 

Dazed, he opened his mouth but could only make nonsense sounds, too shocked by this new revelation. 

“Myde?” It was Xigbar’s concerned frown that brought his wandering thoughts back.

“There was a man.” He heard himself say more than consciously decided to say it. “He knew you. Said you were his apprentice…”

“Ansem?” Xigbar frowned in thought. “You met Ansem?”

“I don’t know.” Myde felt his voice go small. “He called you Luxu.” 

Xigbar’s head and shoulders jerked back, and he quickly took a step back to balance himself. He looked as though someone had hit him, and he couldn’t believe it had happened. 

“You met…  _ him?” _

At that moment, Myde felt very fragile. After living a stagnant life for countless millennia, everything around him was changing far too quickly. Right now, he was in a place he’d never even imagined could exist before, without anyone to help him make sense of the strangeness other than Xiggy, and Xiggy was looking at him with an alienating sense of bewildered astonishment, with just a hint of excitement in his eye. Myde closed his eyes, wondering if this was it, the moment Xiggy wouldn’t love him anymore. The moment when the man won and Myde lost everything. 

“Did he… say anything? About me?” 

Myde flinched. 

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has been so late. I got frustrated with writer’s block midway through the chapter and eventually decided to sit back and hope Re:Mind would inspire me to write again. It did, but not because of anything in it. I have thoughts about Re:Mind, but I promised Nara not to spoil it, so this fic will remain a spoiler free zone. Please keep comments spoiler free! ^_^

Neck

Xigbar couldn’t believe it. Myde had met  _ him. _ How? Was his role over? Had the Master said anything about the plan or whether he disapproved of his and Myde’s potential relationship?  _ How much did Myde know? _

“Did he… say anything? About me?” 

Myde twitched, and Xigbar was startled at the sudden, violent movement. Myde opened his eyes and looked up, and Xigbar’s eye widened at the pain and uncertainty etched on the blond’s face.

“Did he hurt you?” His lips trembled as he asked, a long absent ache in his chest causing him to absentmindedly rub his hand against it. He could imagine it. The Master could be very cruel, and it would be well within his power to hurt Myde, physically or mentally. 

Luxu had gotten used to the Master’s mind games; in the end, he’d clung to them, seeking every drop of sincerity and compassion he could. But he never knew, was never able to know, just how much the Master truly cared for any of them. That didn’t stop him from agreeing to go along with the Master’s plan. 

He remembered the long years of pain and loneliness and wanting to be loved by the man who was the closest thing to a father he’d ever had. Those feelings had faded away, slowly taken over by a numbness and grim determination to fulfill his role. 

The thought that that man might have hurt Myde… he didn’t know what to think. 

“...No.” Myde’s voice was hoarse, and his face looked strained, eyes downcast and jaw clenched. 

Xigbar knelt back down.

“What’d he do?” He cupped Myde’s cheek, almost afraid to hear the answer. Would he be forced to choose? Between the two people most important to him?

“...Noth—.” Xigbar placed his thumb over Myde’s lips, stopping him from speaking.

“The truth.”

Myde looked at him with wide, guilty eyes. Xigbar moved his thumb back.

“He… said that there were futures where you’d end up with him…” Breath whooshed past his moving, open lips, but Myde didn’t continue.

“And?” Xigbar prompted.

“...He choked me a bit.” With a grimace, Xigbar gently tilted Myde’s head toward the window, trying to expose his neck, but the light wasn’t enough to see anything. 

“Hold on. I’m going to go turn on the lights and grab a potion.” 

He squinted hard once the lights were on, rummaging through the coat he’d left on the chair blindly as his eye adjusted, grateful for Zexion’s foresight in supplying him with a potion. But the presence of the potion reminded him of something else.

“Do you feel uncomfortable anywhere? Zexion, one of the scientists you met, said you were suffering from Darkness exposure…?” 

“Um… before the man gave me this coat, there were these tendrils things that attacked me. Is that what you’re talking about? The man said it was because I grew a Heart…?”

Xigbar paused, hand still in his coat pocket, as he digested this information. 

“You…  _ grew a Heart?!” _

“You did too… apparently?” 

Eye wide in disbelief, Xigbar raised his other hand to feel his pulse, shocked when he felt a very faint  _ lub-dub.  _

“How…?”

“Uh… the guy gave the reason, I think, but I don’t really remember. There was too much information coming at me as it was.” Myde gave him a sheepish look. A part of Xigbar wanted to shake him for forgetting, but he grudgingly knew that it was normal not to remember every detail of a conversation. 

“So Xemnas is a liar, what else is new.” He muttered to himself, and resumed his search for the potion. Grasping it, he left it on the seat of the chair and ducked into the bathroom to grab a washcloth. 

When he came back, he saw Myde’s confused look, and answered the unspoken question:

“Potions are a healing item. It’s more efficient to put it on the injured area directly—you use less that way—but for internal injuries, or when you’re pressed for time, it’s better to drink it. Okay, show me your neck.”

Myde partially unzipped his coat, pushing the leather out of the way. 

There were some faint bruises on the right side, but overall it didn’t look too bad. Xigbar doused the washcloth in potion, and gently pressed the wet area to the bruises. A few swipes and the bruises were gone. 

“Is there anywhere else that hurts?” His voice came out gruffer than he intended, and he cleared his throat, planning to try again.

Myde shook his head before he could make the attempt. 

Xigbar sighed, whether out of relief, or frustration, even he didn’t know.

“Guess I better take that shower, then we should get some food. I’ll teach you how the stuff in the bathroom works once we’re back.”

Myde nodded with an “okay,” and Xigbar left to get clean.

***

Xigbar left his hair down to dry, never having bothered with blow drying it, but Myde collected the water with a touch, the water beading into Myde’s hand and forming a water ball as he pulled it away. Xigbar eyed the ball as he quickly took a hair tie and pulled his hair into a ponytail. 

“Whatcha planning on doing with that?”

“Oh, I’ll absorb it.” Myde shrugged, the water disappearing into his hand. “Water fae constantly need water—it’s one of two reasons the fae have always returned home.” 

“And the other?”

Myde hesitated.

“It’s not important.” He answered finally.

“Hey, if you’re going to stay here, I need to know about what might trigger you leaving.”

“...Lack of affection, is the other.” Myde kept his eyes averted. “People, they get mesmerized, you see, by our looks and our music. Once a fae actually comes home with them, they find the feelings wear off. If the person’s decent, he or she will let the fae return home.”

“And if they aren’t?”

Myde shivered slightly, but kept his mouth closed. His stomach answered for him.

“Right. Food.” Xigbar sighed, feeling uneasy. “I don’t... I don’t have to say anything, do I? So you’ll stay?” He wasn’t ready. It felt too soon. 

“No, Xiggy.” Myde answered quietly. His feelings alone should be enough. But he’d never heard of a fae falling for a human, always it was the other way around, so he couldn’t be sure. It would have to do for now. 

***

The dining hall was not as empty as Xigbar had hoped. Instead, a red headed teen was poking at something that looked dismayingly and unrecognizably charred. 

“Hey, Xigbar.” The teen greeted the two gloomily, only looking up long enough to see who was coming toward him, either not noticing Myde, or not caring.

“...It can’t be that bad, Flamislocks,” Xigbar tried for comfort, with a grimace.

The boy pushed the plate toward him.

“You can have it, then.” 

“I think I’ll pass,” Xigbar waved the offer away. “If Xaldin’s not cooking, I’ll just stick with cereal.” Of course, Xigbar  _ did _ know how to cook… a little… but he was never going to admit it to these guys. He wasn’t going to cook for anyone but himself… and maybe Myde…

Myde trailed behind Xigbar into the kitchen, which was surprisingly cramped, considering how spacious the other rooms of the castle were. Myde closed his eyes, and pretended that he was simply underwater, and that’s why he was closed in. He concentrated on the sounds of Xiggy moving around. He didn’t recognize a single sound, not the clangs or the dings or the rustles, until he heard the slosh of liquid moving about. 

He opened his eyes to see Xiggy holding a container of white liquid, with various items assembled on the small countertop which hadn’t been there before. 

“I hope you find Hoop Fruits okay. Lemme just pour the milk, then we can take it to the table.” 

Xigbar poured the white liquid into the two larger lakebed shaped like objects before storing it back into the white, tall, oddly shaped object. Myde used his left thumb to his right index finger, right thumb to left index finger, imitating the shape, and wondering what it was called.

“Xiggy, what is this?” He asked.

“Your fingers.” Xigbar grunted.

“No, the shape!”

“Oh. It’s called a rectangle. What I just put the milk into’s called a fridge. It helps keep stuff cold.”

“Oh.” 

Xigbar scooped up one half of the objects on the counter, gesturing for Myde to pick up the other half.

“That’s a bowl and a spoon. Inside the bowl is cereal and milk. Let’s go sit down and I’ll teach you how to eat it.”

They went back out into the dining hall, Xigbar sitting across and a little farther down the table than the teen, but not so far it could be considered a snub. Myde sat down on the side farther from the other person.

“Just watch what I do and imitate me.” Xigbar coaxed. 

Myde picked up the spoon, but had trouble gripping it in anything other than a shovel grip. Figuring it was good enough for now, he dunked the spoon into the bowl as Xigbar was doing, but the cereal and milk slid off, and he was left with an empty spoon.

“What’s with him?” The teen asked, curious about the weirdo.

“This is Myde. He’s a Nobody like us. It’s just, uh, he has amnesia. From the trauma of becoming a Nobody. He remembers who he is, just... not some common sense things. Myde, this is Axel.” Inwardly, Xigbar cursed. It would have been so much easier just to say Myde was from Atlantica. But Xemnas would know that that was a lie…

“Hello, Axel,” Myde greeted the teen with a smile. 

“Hi, Myde!” Axel waves back. “You haven’t met Xemnas yet?” 

“No…?” Myde looked at Xigbar questioningly, to make sure that was right.

“Yeah, I figured he should get some food into him first. Wanna bet on what his new name will be?” Xigbar changed the subject before Axel could think of other questions to ask.

Axel crossed his arms and scrunched his face in thought, while Myde looked questiongly at Xigbar.

“In order for you to stay, you have to let Xemnas give you a name with an ‘x’ in it. He likes to call it the ‘recusant’s sigil,’” Xigbar explained quietly.

“I know! Mydex!” Axel exclaimed proudly. 

Xigbar looked at him askance. 

“It took you that long to come up with  _ that?” _

“Well, you try thinking one up!” Axel scowled.

“It would be great if he didn’t have to change his name at all,” Xigbar muttered. 

_ “Anyway, _ if there’s something you’re having trouble understanding because of the amnesia,” he pointed at his head, “I’ll help you out. Got it memorized?” 

“Sure, thanks!” Myde smiled and nodded, and for a moment, the old, familiar feeling of jealousy reared its ugly head inside Xigbar’s newborn heart. He stamped it down, reminding himself that Axel was a good, if troublesome kid, and that Myde  _ should _ be meeting other people. Even if, even if he ended up realizing that Xigbar wasn’t good enough… wasn’t worthy… Xigbar cut off his depressing train of thought before he ended up harming himself too much. 

Fortunately, the third wheel decided to leave himself.

“See you later, Myde! Bye, Xigbar!” Axel dumped the remaining bits of charred something into the trash and waved good-bye. 

Soon, only the sounds of Xigbar munching and Myde trying to munch filled the room. When Myde succeeded in getting some cereal and/or milk into his mouth, he would make a happy little hum, which proved just how much he liked it.

“Hey, Xiggy.” Myde eventually asked, hesitantly. “What was  _ your _ name?”

“Luxu.” Xigbar said, automatically and thoughtlessly. His eye widened, and he scanned the room, double checking that no one else had heard.

“I know that. Then how did your name become Xigbar?”

“...My, uh, current vessel’s name was Braig.” 

“Vessel?”

“It’s… how I’ve managed to live for so long: body hopping.” 

“Oh.” Myde looked at Xigbar inscrutably. “I’m glad.”

Xigbar choked on some Hoop Fruits and spent the next few minutes coughing them back up.

“You’re…  _ glad?!” _

“Well, yeah. Human beings have really short life spans, right? If there’s a way we can still be together, isn’t that great?” 

“You don’t think it’s gross? Or disgusting?” 

“Why would I?”

“Because I’m using someone else’s body!”

“So?”

Xigbar gaped, trying to come up with something further to say and failing. 

“Should I keep my eye on people I think might make good vessels for you?” Myde chillingly offered. It reminded Xigbar that Myde had never been human, and that his morals were completely different. 

“What would you consider ‘good?’” Xigbar asked weakly. 

“Good looking, like you! I suppose that boy, Axel, could do in a pinch…” 

Xigbar pinched the bridge of his nose, and pretended he hadn’t heard that.

“I generally pick strangers. It’s easier that way. And barring any accidents, I’m not going to need to switch for several decades.” 

Demyx nodded understandingly, even if he still couldn’t quite grasp the concept of time, despite Xigbar’s explanations.

“Okay, Xiggy.” 

Xigbar was not reassured. Somehow, he had the feeling he’d have to keep Myde from staring speculatively too hard at babies. 

“...Let’s just teach you about the bathroom and go visit Xemnas, okay?” 

Xigbar was starting to wish he could just go back to bed instead. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Between writer’s block and different story ideas plaguing my mind, I had trouble writing this chapter. (Right now my brain won’t stop insisting I write a prequel/sequel to “Sweet Talk” where Demyx tries to seduce every member of both Organizations. -_-;; ) I’ve always known where and how I want “Neck” to end, but figuring out how to get there’s the tricky bit. Thanks to everyone who’s given kudos and comments. The comments especially really help keep me going, you know?

Neck

On the way to Xemnas’ office, they ran into Saïx. The blunet gave them a particularly sour look.

“Number II. Have you seen Number VIII?” 

“We saw him at the dining hall, but he left. Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Now it was Xigbar’s turn to feel confused. 

“No?”

“So you didn’t notice the age regression.” Saïx stated.

“Age… oh.” Xigbar turned to Myde to explain. “Zexion, Saïx, and Axel were originally all kids. Thanks to some magic mushrooms we found from Wonderland—another world you’ll visit sometime—they all aged up. I didn’t even notice that Axel had somehow reverted back to being a kid.” He turned back to Saïx. “What happened?”

“Apparently Axel wanted to be older than me—why, I don’t understand—so he tried to eat an aging mushroom. It was the wrong one. Now he refuses to eat the proper mushroom. I’ve had the others going around the castle trying to catch him.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“You should look for him too.”

“As if! No can do. I’ve got to introduce Myde here to Xemnas. Make him an official member of our team.” Xigbar wrapped one arm around Myde’s shoulders to show him off. The blond shrank into Xigbar under Saïx’s appraising, indifferent gaze. 

Noticing Myde’s behavior, Xigbar lightly frowned in worry.

“Saïx, knock it off. Myde’s not used to people.” 

“Hmph.” Saïx finally shifted his vision. “How did he become a Nobody, then? If he was isolated from people.” 

“He has amnesia, so we don’t know for sure, but his place did still get the occasional Heartless. Is it so strange for a hermit to become a Nobody?” 

“Not that we really understand the process, so I suppose not.” Saïx conceded. 

“Well, why don’t you go off and find your Flamislocks and we’ll just go visit Xemnas.” 

Saïx turned and walked off without a further word or gesture. 

***

Xigbar’s newly grown heart skittered a beat outside of Xemnas’ door. Here was the test. The final obstacle to Myde staying by his side. (Bar Xigbar messing up and triggering either of the fae’s leaving conditions.) Would Xemnas be able to tell that Myde wasn’t actually a Nobody, whether because of his fae nature or his equally newly grown heart? 

As he pushed back the negative thoughts of Xemnas somehow  _ knowing,  _ somehow deciding to turn on Myde and attack him, the memory he’d been suppressing rose up to take their place: “He… said that there were futures where you’d end up with him…” Xigbar bit his lip, inwardly cursing. Now was not the time to contemplate what the Master could have meant, whether the Master was interested in him as more than an easily manipulable apprentice… or as an easily manipulable apprentice with benefits. Now was the time to focus on Myde. And Xemnas.

Myde waited silently by his side, not asking why Xigbar was standing there doing nothing. As the seconds dragged on with Xigbar struggling to collect himself, Myde started to fidget and hum at a volume just over his breath. The vaguely Celtic sounding plaintive tune soothed Xigbar’s nerves, allowing him to focus on the here and now. 

“You working your magic on me?” He’d meant to tease, but his voice came out gruffer and more surly than he’d intended. 

“No.” Myde’s expression was innocent and blank, before Xigbar’s words fully sank in, causing his face to take on a faint hint of resignation and resentment. “Are you always going to question my music from now on?”

“Sorry. That didn’t come out right.” Xigbar had been tempted just to bury the conversation and let the misunderstanding continue, but he’d never been much for cowardice, even if his role of watching the war could be considered running away. 

“I didn’t mean it that way,” he continued. “I was… trying to be flirty.” 

Myde’s eyes widened with surprise as his cheeks blushed.

“Oh,” the fae said quietly. 

“Yeah,” Xigbar’s tone was sour with self-deprecation. “I don’t know how it is for the Neck, but for human beings, sometimes our words don’t come out the way we mean them to, or the other person interprets the words differently from the way we’d meant. Or sometimes we ourselves don’t understand our own meaning when we say them.” 

“Or sometimes you lie.” Myde’s voice was quiet, trying to stay neutral.

“Yeah, sometimes we lie… or half lie. Or say what we think is the truth, but turns out to be a lie. Communication can be a bitch.” 

Myde digested this. After a few moments, he turned to Xigbar.

“Except for when we have the rare visitor, we only talk to each other. It’s not like… it’s not the same as when the two of us talk. We all understand intrinsically what the other person means and we would never lie. It’s an understanding, a connection that goes beyond the words… I miss them.” Myde turned away, his face turned away as he blinked back tears. “I’ve never been away from that connection before. I can’t… I can’t reach my brothers. Since I left the lake.” 

Silence filled the air between them as Xigbar’s heart wrenched at what Myde had given up for him. 

“Oh, Myde,” he whispered.

“I wasn’t going to tell you,” Myde confessed. “I didn’t want to make you feel bad. But I…” Myde crouched in place, unable to finish his sentence. 

It was as Xigbar reached down, instinctually going to give him a hug, that the door in front of them opened. Xigbar’s arms hug for a moment at the aborted attempt, before he quickly dropped them and straightened up.

“Are you coming in or not?” Xemnas gave the pair a displeased look. “Stop hanging around outside my door if you are not.” 

Xigbar did his best not to pale.

“Did you hear us, Boss Man?”

“I heard your voices. I could not hear what you were saying. It was irritating. ...What is wrong with him?” Xemnas pointedly gazed at Myde.

Xigbar broke out in a cold sweat.

“Myde here, he, uh, likes to pretend he still has his heart. Finds it makes the time pass quicker. He was just demonstrating to me his ‘grieving’ act.” Xigbar idly wondered how many more times he was going to have to lie for Myde. Not that he regretted it. 

Myde stood up, visibly trying to collect himself. 

“...And you are certain he is a Nobody?” Xemnas’ gaze was tinged with skepticism.

“Yup. Got a water core running around somewhere with his name on it.” In an effort to exude calm, Xigbar gave Xemnas two finger pistols in the lighthearted manner he was known for. In response, Xemnas seemed to shrug, although his body made no actual motion. 

“Come in.” He moved out of the way, allowing Xigbar and Myde to enter. 

Xigbar silently urged Myde to sit at the chair in front of Xemnas’ desk, as he hovered behind him, restless. He wanted to put his hands on Myde’s shoulders to reassure him, but was afraid of any messages that might send to the Superior. 

Xemnas took his time making his way to his chair, infusing his walk with even more pomp and false gravitas than usual. Clearly he wasn’t wasting the opportunity to impress the newcomer with his own importance. Once he was finally settled, he turned to Myde.

“I am Xemnas, Superior of the In-Between. Do you remember your true name?” 

Myde glanced up at Xigbar before replying.

“I’m Myde.” 

Xemnas waved his hand and shining letters appeared in front of him. Myde looked and saw his own name written backwards. With another wave of Xemnas’ hand, the letters swirled around him, changing, before reforming once more.

“Ah. From now on, you are Demyx.” Xemnas’ voice purred with an underlying trace of satisfaction.

_ Heartless, my ass, _ Xigbar thought, uncharitably. 

“Welcome to the Organization. Demyx.”

  
  



End file.
